Thoughts on Workshop #2 Critiques

Emma Reinhardt’s critique was the most helpful in that she identified strengths and weaknesses in a balanced way while making suggestions on improvements and explaining the suggestions. She, along with Annie Hall and Anneliese Ely, describe how confusing the story is because of inconsistencies in character. Hunter Morgan made an important insight when he wrote, “Someone willing to end their life because of embarrassment would probably be willing to go back to an abuser to avoid the embarrassment instead.” 

I was not happy with this story when I submitted it and knew that I would make some global changes in plot and work on improving characterization and removing the inconsistencies. The workshop helped to clarify some of the issues I was having and suggest ideas for improvement, like showing more of the protagonist’s emotions rather than telling. Suicide has to have a bigger motivation than to avoid embarrassment or not living up to others’ expectations. 

In the latest draft I have removed the confusing and out of place ending (the hug from a co-worker) and replaced it with something much more meaningful that would give her a reason to stay alive. Also, I’m hoping that a common trait of people contemplating suicide comes through (and does not further confuse): that when someone has made up her mind to commit suicide, she may seem happier than usual because she feels relieved that there will be an end to her suffering. The psychology of it is interesting to me and I think that including some contradictions makes the story more realistic.